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Author Topic:   NEED BETTER COPING SKILLS!!!!!!!

Posts: 78
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 03-15-2000 12:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ronty93   Click Here to Email ronty93     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm reading all these comments and everybody seems to deal with all this pretty well, I mean much better than me. This is so silly but when I'm out and one of "THOSE PAINS" that send you running to b-room hits guess what always follows?...A great big ol' panic attack. I just freak out. I get all this junk running through my head like, Oh my gosh, what will everyone think, what if I end up having to stay in the b-room for 2 hours how embarrassing, how can I go visit someone and not know if one of these "STINKING"(and I mean that literally) episodes is gonna hit, how emabarrassing to stink up someones b-room. Most of you guys sound pretty confident and I find that amazing. I'm pretty much housebound at this point and am sick of it. I want to be able to say WHO CARES WHAT ANYONE OR EVERYONE THINKS, BIG FAT DEAL,EVERYONE CRAPS!!! Now I'm sure that someone will probably comment back and make me look stupid for feeling like this, but I really want to change. I need some helpful suggestions on how to cope with the embarrassing aspect of this condition!!! Thanks,


Posts: 61
Registered: Jan 99

posted 03-15-2000 04:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Rachel   Click Here to Email Rachel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Ronty,

I know exactly how you feel.
You might want to check out these tapes, they are designed especially for people who suffer IBS and they are made by a hypnotherapist and they can teach you some coping skills. Lots of people on the other IBS board have had great success with them.

Good Luck,


Posts: 148
Registered: Mar 99

posted 03-15-2000 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Rob     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are not stupid. I am sure there are many people on this board who feel exactly the same way you do. I used to feel that way also - maybe its just a matter of how long you have been dealing with it and after a while you get used to it. I don't so much care about stinking up public bathrooms anymore, hey, you have to go when you have to go. I do still have a fear of going in someone's house and thus I limit going to new places as much as i can and am very careful about what I eat when I go to someone new's house.
I'm not sure what the coping skills are. I know some people on here take anti-anxiety or anti-depression meds that help. Otherwise, its just a matter of knowing that this happens to other people, you are not the only one in the world who stinks up a bathroom and everyone else can just deal!


Posts: 78
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 03-15-2000 10:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ronty93   Click Here to Email ronty93     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Rob! Just wanted to say thanks for your reply. I'm not new to IBS, I've had it since I was a kid. It has gotten worse over the course of the last few years though. In November of last year I started having my worst attacks of all time. I've had 2 kids and I tell you I don't believe that I was in much more pain while in labor than I was during those episodes. I've tried low fiber diets, high fiber diets, and no fiber diets. Nothing helps. It's quite disturbing isn't it? The IBS flares up, as you already know, in so many different situations, sometimes even for no real reason at all. The last month of those horrendous episodes was January of this year. I quit eating tuna and they finally went away. If I have to modify my diet much more, I'll be on baked chicken and water only!! I've tried any and all antianxiety meds you can think of because I also have panic attacks and agoraphobic episodes. I used to deal with this very well, I just went when I had to and didn't give a hoot what anybody thought, I honestly don't know what happened!!Sorry I chewed your ear off for so long!!! Thanks again.


Posts: 541
Registered: Jul 99

posted 03-15-2000 03:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for chrisseese   Click Here to Email chrisseese     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have been dealing with IBS D and Crohn's for about 8 years now. I don't know that you ever completely learn how to cope with the problems, you are just kind of forced to. I've learned little tricks to make my embarrassment a little easier, such as finding places of business that have bathrooms that only have one toilet. This way, you can have some privacy while you do your thing. Who cares if you have a line up behind you, at least you don't have to worry about anyone hearing you. I've also become quite good at timing the flushing of the toilet for when I think I will make a noise. People probably wonder why I'm in there flushing and flushing and flushing.

Luckily, since starting the calcium supplements, the urgency of my D has decreased tremendously. I finally feel as though I have my life back. I still have to use my old tricks, just not as often as before.


It is never too late to be what you might have been.----George Eliot


Posts: 216
Registered: May 99

posted 03-15-2000 10:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sumbunnie   Click Here to Email sumbunnie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It took me five years to finally convince myself to not worry about what other people thought. Then again, I only hang around with people who know my history with IBS, and they are very accommodating. I still get a little embarrassed sometimes, but I will just make a joke about it, everyone laughs, and life goes on. I finally just HAD to learn to deal with it like that, otherwise the stress of embarrassment would just make the episode worse.


Posts: 119
Registered: Feb 2000

posted 03-15-2000 10:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jd44     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can you carry a book of matches, even a little birthday candle to light in the stinky bathroom? Burning off the gas often helps reduce the odor. We keep these fire supplies in the bathroom all the time for everybody to use. At home here it is a cute halloween candle in a glass holder. We can leave it burning when we leave the bathroom.

Look for a switch to an exhaust fan in public restrooms.

And tell folks you think something is wrong with the plumbing--it smells like sewer gas in the bathroom. Maybe they'll call a plumber to fix the toilet vent and believe it's all their own fault. Just kidding--but it is a temptation.

All times are ET (US)

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IBS & the Mind-Body/Brain-Gut Connection, by William B. Salt II, MD