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Author Topic:   More personality traits
Fern
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fern   Click Here to Email Fern     Edit/Delete Message
Hi all,
As an addition to the great post by Debbiedo I'd like to know a few other things about we IBS-ers, if you feel like answering:

How many of us:

1) are people-pleasers
2) internalize stress
3) are depressed
4) have low self-esteem, am/not high achiever
5) had to 'take care of' one or both parents due to mental/addiction/physical problems?
6) do lots of volunteer activities that help other people?
7) seek or have sought therapy

Just curious. I'm
1 people pleaser
2 internalize stress
3 am depressed, take meds and feel much better
4 have low self-esteem, but high achiever
5 did a lot of unofficial care-taking of my mom, who was depressed when I was a kid
6 always seem to be doing stuff for others
7 Am in therapy and have been for a while. For me, it helps!

Fern

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LynneB
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LynneB   Click Here to Email LynneB     Edit/Delete Message
1) Definitely a people-pleaser, but not to an extreme
2)YES!!! I internalize stress.
3)depression - yes,taking meds
4)low self-esteem, high-achiever (seems like a contradiction, doen't it?)
5)no,never had to take care of my parents
6)no volunteer work (no time, work full-time and have two kids)
7)In and out of therapy, currently in

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Ty
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 04:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ty   Click Here to Email Ty     Edit/Delete Message
1) in a way (only those very close to me - boyfriend, parents; but friends, etc - nope!)
2) have always internalized stress!
3) nope
4) compare myself to others too much (try to be 'better' in all aspects), definate high achiever
5) nope
6) not lots
7) nope

Ty

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DeniseH
Newbie
posted 08-23-99 05:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeniseH     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, Fern. I'm wondering about the depression link. How many of us are taking meds for that? I took Zoloft until a few months ago (it did its work and I was able to go off of it-- thank you, Zoloft). Anyway, I had no digestive tract distress before I started taking it. Could IBS be a side effect of antidepresant meds?

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kitty
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kitty   Click Here to Email kitty     Edit/Delete Message
1) I'm with Ty - people pleaser to those that are close
2)yes - internalize stress
3)only depressed occasionaly (when I get one bad attack after another )
4)I don't have low self esteem but not really high either - I feel good about myself for the most part.
5)Have not had to take care of parents
6)Don't do alot of formal volunteer work but do alot to help others when I see a need that I can help with.
7)Have not sought therapy

IP:

karenr
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 06:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for karenr   Click Here to Email karenr     Edit/Delete Message
Fern: I think these all play a role in my IBS, and it seems with others too. Good thread to start! Karen R
1) I AM a people pleaser, very much so!
2) I internalize stress - oh, yes, keep it oh so bundled up until it swells and gets bigger and bigger!
3) I am depressed often, but not 100% of the time. I have good days..and then some real bad days. Also much worse when I'm cooped up in winter and when it's so very hot, like now.
4) I have very low self-esteem, but am a high achiever in my own realms. Others think I'm such an up/happy person and a go-getter.
5) I didn't 'take care of' my dad, but he had a mental problem when I was growing up - horrible mood swings, violence and IBS (at least NOW I know it was IBS! I remember him running to the bathroom with violent diarrhea and staying there for very long periods of time.)
6) I do lots of volunteer activities that help other people in my own realm - I organize activities and start up groups/events?
7) I have tried once to seek therapy but it was too difficult to get to appts with my infant son and no one to watch him. I have opened up a little to my Internist who gave me Luvox. I had a horrible reaction to it. So now I have Zoloft. After the terrifying reaction to the Luvox I cannot make myself take the Zoloft. I'm paralyzed with fear when I see the medication.

karenR

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Joyce
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 07:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Joyce     Edit/Delete Message
Fern,

That list describes me to a T. I say all of the above. joyce

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Don't make ME come down there!!. GOD

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hmmmmmmmm
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 07:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hmmmmmmmm     Edit/Delete Message
Yes thats all I can say to everything!!!!!

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τΏτ-whereever you go there you are

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debidoo
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 08:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for debidoo     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Fern - these are good questions, too! As for me:

1) I'm not all that much of a people pleaser, but I do hate to be rude to anyone or disappoint them if I can help it (even when they do the same to me!).
2) I do feel I internalize stress, up to a point. But I can only take so much before I start to vent.
3) I'm not usually depressed, but when things get really bad in my life, or my children's lives, I have been known to get that way.
4) Most of my life I've had problems with low self-esteem, and as a child, I was not a very high achiever. After I grew up and moved away from home, I started to figure out that I was really quite capable, and did an about-face on the achievement part (I still have occasional bouts with low self-esteem, though).
5) I've not yet had to take care of my parents for any reason.
6) I'm not much of a voluteer, but might tend to go that way if I didn't work and have a family to look after.
7) I have in the past sought therapy - didn't have a very high opinion of it, though.

Debbie

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zigmissus
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 10:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for zigmissus     Edit/Delete Message
Good questions, Fern!

1.I guess I AM a people-pleaser--trouble saying no, good manners and at work always the one you can count on to get things done.
2.If internalizing stress means not lashing out at SOBs who are rude and take advantage of my good nature, guilty as charged.
3.Not depressed, but anxious.
4.Classic underachiever, but set much higher standards for myself than anyone else.
5.Parents sometimes take care of ME (financially, emotionally), and that's an embarrassment.
6.Would like to volunteer, but either too sick or too busy making up for time lost being sick.
7.See a psychiatrist for meds, but he told me, "Therapy probably wouldn't do you any good at this point." Don't know if that means I'm well-adjusted or just hopeless!

IP:

Dittybop
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 10:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dittybop   Click Here to Email Dittybop     Edit/Delete Message
YES...to everything

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moldie
Veteran
posted 08-23-99 11:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moldie     Edit/Delete Message
generally a people pleaser(middle child-only girl), but I'm learning to say no sometimes.

yes to internalizing stress but if I find a person I am close to, I can vent.

generally pleasant disposition except when I am in pain or non-functional. Then I get depressed.

I get down on myself when I am feeling the above, or when my face breaks out- as I want to have that perfect complexion.

Just had to take care of my little brothers sometimes growing up and my job was in care-taking, being a nurse and of course I wanted to be that perfect nurse, as well as a perfect mother.

Volunteer work is was lifts my self-esteem. I am a Literacy Council Tutor for ESL, and a volunteer reader for a blind person through an Interfaith Organization. I also volunteer through church. Admittedly, I didn't do a lot of volunteer work outside church before I became ill.

Have thought about counseling but I doubt my husband would support that, as it costs money. I also don't like to whine and cry in front of people especially about something so embarassing as bowel crap.

To answer that other personality question in that other recent posting; I was painfully shy as a child but came out of my shell starting in high school and in college. I am introverted until you get to know me, and I you. This board is great because you don't have to feel like an introvert and you can talk about bowel crap without feeling like you are whining. We also are each others counselors. (Thanks for that).

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enna2
Veteran
posted 08-24-99 08:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for enna2   Click Here to Email enna2     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Fern, are you going to analyse these results too?

this is me:

1)I like to make people happy and not cause anyone to be too unhappy or put out, but I won't stand for being walked all over. Does that make me a people pleaser? I can be counted on to get things done and don't really like to say no, but will if I really can't or don't want to do something.
2)When i get stressed people usually KNOW about it!!!Especially my poor old boyfriend!!
3)Sometimes very depressed yes. But most people wouldn't know it. Most of the time though pretty happy, as long as my stomach isn't killing me!
4)High self esteem mostly, fairly high achiever
5)no
6)not really :O not officially anyway, but always helping people out with favours if i can
7)no - other than from friends!!!

[This message has been edited by enna2 (edited 08-24-99).]

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Smile
Veteran
posted 08-24-99 09:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Smile   Click Here to Email Smile     Edit/Delete Message
Hi
1.) Yes a people pleaser, trying to get better at not doing things just for other people. It is a fine line between being a doormat and helping people.
2.) I internalize stress, but getting much better at recognizing it earlier and then I vent and feel better. (hoping this will help with the IBSD/C & Colitis
3.) I was depressed last year, but it was because I had alot of changes going on, then I got sick and didn't know what was wrong. For the past few months I have been better and if I get depressed it is just for a bit.
4.) no low self esteem. However over the past year, with all the changes, my self esteem is not what it used to be. But I am working on that also.
5.) Didn't have to take care of parents
6.) not really too much volenteer work. I did start to volunteer with LVA but then I ended up getting paid cause they needed what I offered and more hours.
7.) I got therapy once a few years back. It had nothing to do with IBS, it was relationship stuff and family stuff. I didn't see any benefit, but I think that was because of the counseler I had. The key is to find one that works for you.

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Sisyphus
Veteran
posted 08-24-99 10:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sisyphus     Edit/Delete Message
Yes to all.
#4 - am high achiever
#6 - my husband is getting me to practice saying "n-n-n-n-n-...." what was that word?

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"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything you can survive it." - Bill Cosby

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bkitts
Veteran
posted 08-24-99 10:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bkitts   Click Here to Email bkitts     Edit/Delete Message
Yes, Yes, and more Yes!!! I am reading a book called "Highly Sensitive People" Fits me perfect!!! I find that people like myself that are passionate/compassionate/ and just plain wanting to solve everybody's problems, end up with this IBS!!! My aunt never got married after her mother died and took care of my mom and her emotional problems all her life. She had to quit work cause of IBS at 30 and has been trying to make the world perfect since!!! There's got to be a boundry line somewhere....

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Elin1
Veteran
posted 08-24-99 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Elin1   Click Here to Email Elin1     Edit/Delete Message
I love these threads you guys get going.

1. I would say people-pleaser w/ selfish tendancies
2. Oh, I internalize stress big time (I think in the workplace most of us do that)- and have to work very hard not to worry to much.
3. I have not been diagnosed, but I am down a lot.
4. Sometimes have low-self-esteem, at work am an overachiever, at home I am not really.
5. My mom had breast cancer, but I didn't have to take of her - her mom did.
6. When I can. I try very hard to keep a lot of free time in my schedule, so I don't cause myself extra stress.
7. I want to get therapy. WE have an EAP at work. I will eventually.

IP:

chrisseese
Veteran
posted 08-24-99 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for chrisseese   Click Here to Email chrisseese     Edit/Delete Message
Interesting post!! I am the following:

1. People pleaser (always worried about what others will think of me if I don't do what they want)
2. Internalize stress (often get what I term stress attacks, butterflies at war in my stomach)
3. Depressed (overweight, get depressed eat even when not hungry)
4. Low Self Asteem (because of my weight, I have very very low self asteem)

Chris

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If a toilet is my throne, I want a padded seat!!

IP:

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