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Author Topic:   NON-UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE
LA
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posted 12-13-1998 04:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LA     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi all! Just need to vent a moment if that's ok. The other day I was asked if I wanted to go out for the evening. Well, I wasn't feeling up to it, and a certain person made a comment about "me and my stomach." Well, in that moment I, who am not by nature a person who wishes ill to others, in that moment I wished that she would just for awhile suffer from this! How awful I felt after thinking that but she is always so negative about my problem that I had it! I wish I would have opened my mouth and just told her off, but being that she is a "family member" that wouldn't have gone over too well. My question is, what do any of you do with people who just don't quite get it that if I had my way I wouldn't have to feel this way! Like I LOVE to sit home all the time! Anyway, if anyone can help with a good come back that isn't going to break up the family, I'd be very grateful. Thanks again, LA

charlie
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posted 12-13-1998 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie   Click Here to Email charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HI LA !!
I AM STILL HERE, IT LOOKS AS THOUGH WE ARE THE LAST OF THE OLDIES BUT GOODIES

how have you been? from the looks at your posting from non understanding people, i say the hell with them!! as far as a family member let them have it to!! than maybe they will get the idea, if they dont get than, HAVE THEM L@@K AT THIS BOARD FOR A FEW DAYS!!!!!! AND THEY BETTER HOPE THEY DONT END UP HERE,
i am from the old italian school, the first person to run thier mouth about my condition would get a ear full from me,
at any rate LA, enjoy the holidays
hope you are feeling ok, its good to vent now and than, i even put up a post for people to vent
HAVE A GOOD ONE LA

CHARLIE

Ann
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posted 12-13-1998 06:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ann   Click Here to Email Ann     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The world is full of non-understanding people. I have had this damn IBS for a very long time. Thank God I have a husband who is right there to stick up for me. When someone says "you and your stomach", my husband always says "you think that my wife likes not being able to pick up and go when she wants to...or eat what she wants too"? Some people!!!!!! Dont let it bother you..it is only ignorance.

Lorettasun
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posted 12-13-1998 08:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lorettasun   Click Here to Email Lorettasun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh LA, I know exactly how you feel. My self confidence is shot from IBS and we don't need people making us feel worse. Where I work, on the last day of work before the 4th of July we go on a boat ride. It is very nice of the owners of the company to do that and some years I go and some years I don't go depending on how managable my IBS is at the time. I am sick and tired of people making me feel guilty by not going. This is just one example. I try not to let it bother me but it hurts me deeply. Please try not to let it bother you. As long as you know you are a good person, you don't have to explain anything to anyone and don't allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself. I agree, it is just ignorance on their part. It is not easy, I know, I think we all know, but maybe some day......Loretta

Dawn
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posted 12-13-1998 09:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dawn   Click Here to Email Dawn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi LA
Well there is no soft answer when it comes to Family memebers who just don't get it. I sent information to those who really needed to know and for the rest I am just a really busy person with lots of things to do and lots of friends to do them with. That really is not so but it beats trying to defend my illness to someone who will never understand unless they too have it. And even my worst of enemies I would not wish what I have on them. So hang tough and remember its a illness we have to live with and we are not any less loved by God then the next we just get a different hand of cards to hold and sorry to say when we get to pick a new one its not always anybetter. But stay close to us here and there is nothing we cant get through or talk about or scream and cry about together....Your in my prayers, eat right and remember to smile it could be WORSE!!!!!!
Dawn

musem
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posted 12-14-1998 01:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for musem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi LA:
This is a sore point for me, too. Every now and then, my supervisor at work comes up with some new and improved cockamamie method of curing me It's really hard to tolerate, but what can I do? He knows there's something wrong with my digestive system, but he can't get past the incurable/chronic part.

Try to get out and do what you can. Even if it's just a little. I don't even try to do things with people anymore, except for my family, and one friend. My obsession is riding my motorcycle, and planned rides are not for me. I have a good time by myself, though, and do have some friends/acquaintances at a couple of places I frequent. The really nice thing is, they don't know, and don't wonder when I don't show up till late, or not at all.

bob

[This message has been edited by musem (edited 12-14-98).]

TERIO
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posted 12-14-1998 02:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TERIO   Click Here to Email TERIO     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I too think you should get some info on IBS and give it to anyone who carelessly goes about the mouth. She probably doesn't believe what you say but maybe if she reads it she will be better about her mouth. I know how you feel, people mouthing off or the roll of the eyes. But I just figure, hey too bad this is how I am!

Linny
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posted 12-14-1998 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Linny   Click Here to Email Linny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi LA and everyone else.

I am extremely lucky because my immediate family is very understanding, but when it comes to a few members of my maternal family.......they are a bunch of careless morons some of the time. My grandma's favorite line is "if you'd just eat properly and act like everyone else than you'd be fine." My cousin once said to me after I explained to her that I couldn't eat aything when we out to lunch "if you don't eat than won't you die." I've had a few rough weeks lately. I lost 12 pounds in under 2 weeks. My aunt called on a Friday night and my mom told her how my doctor said that if I don't get any better by Mon then I will be admitted to the hospital. My aunt told my grandma and neither of them ever called to see how I was. My mom finally spoke with my aunt and my aunt said "we figured if Lindsey was put in the hospital then we were sure you would have called either myself or grandma." They are ignorant and heartless. Yep....the first thing a 17 year old wants to do is go diarrhea all day long and puke up whatever she tries to eat and miss everything her friends do.........

Sorry...I just needed to let that out.

Lindsey

[This message has been edited by Linny (edited 12-14-98).]

K
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posted 12-14-1998 11:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for K   Click Here to Email K     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Let's face it, some people just can't get it through their thick skulls that we really do have a problem!!! My fiance thinks that it is "all in my head". Luckily, I have a supporting family. Another friend of mine asks me if I have diarrhea again each time I get up to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I don't know what to say to them either. But you know what, we should probably just save our breaths, cuz they're probably not listening anyway. K

BobJ
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posted 12-15-1998 03:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BobJ   Click Here to Email BobJ     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LA

I guess it's almost the classic situation of turning the other cheek, in the sense that we IBSers understand better those who don't understand us - so the onus is on us to get on down the road and ignore the jerks!!!

Hang in...BJ

Analstasia
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posted 12-15-1998 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Analstasia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
boy, i feel pretty lucky that my friends and family are understanding and tolerant. for those who don't quite get it, i found a wonderful easy-to-read description of IBS on another bb and i refer those to it. so far, all who've read it responded with ohhhhh, so that's what it's like. i will try to find it and post it here (it was through a previous posting here i found it in the first place) and for the rest who are just mean and nasty...#%*#!

A.

LA
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posted 12-15-1998 08:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LA     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi all! Thanks for your words of encouragement, understanding and "been there!" You all are right when you say to just ignore these people because they really have no idea; I will try to let their words roll off my back from now on. In my case, I think trying to explain really wouldn't help, but I'm glad it worked for those of you who did explain this illness to those who misunderstood you and IBS. Again, thanks for all your support! It's great to be here! LA

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