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Author Topic:   The 1998 Darwin Award
IBSsuffer
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Posts: 32
Registered: Sep 98

posted 10-08-1998 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IBSsuffer   Click Here to Email IBSsuffer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My friend sent this to me.


1998 Darwin Award

They have finally been released! For those not familiar with the Darwin Award-It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting killed in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen. Some candidates appear to have trained their lives for the event!

And the winner:
Paderborn, Germany- Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly- and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents.

flux
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posted 10-08-1998 08:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for flux   Click Here to Email flux     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The story is just a tall tale. It never happened.

Kathleen
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Posts: 18
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posted 10-09-1998 02:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kathleen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Flux-
Didn't your mother ever teach you, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"?
Please just let us have a laugh without being negative!

TBrnot
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Posts: 125
Registered: Sep 98

posted 10-09-1998 08:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for TBrnot   Click Here to Email TBrnot     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry!

[This message has been edited by TBrnot (edited 10-15-98).]

Michele
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Posts: 24
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posted 10-09-1998 04:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Michele     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In the words of Foghorn Leghorn "It's a joke son!"

alyson
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Posts: 171
Registered: Jul 98

posted 10-10-1998 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alyson   Click Here to Email alyson     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It could happen!!! It almost happened on E.R. this week so it must be true!!A

flux
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posted 10-10-1998 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for flux   Click Here to Email flux     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's not a joke either. It is bogus tale to sell newspapers (namely, the Weekly World News where the story originates) to gullible people.

And while the ER is mostly medically accurate, it is still a TV show.

marimike
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posted 10-10-1998 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marimike   Click Here to Email marimike     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
!hey flux its not so much being gullible as it is the humor .thanks ibssufferer we could use a good laugh now and then with this ibs so go ahead and post some more if you have any. most of us enjoy the lauhgter most have sence of humor . as kathleen says if you cant say something nice [you know who] dont say anything at all. also you know who do you enjoy throwing zingers into everything or is this just your nasty little ole you? seriously flux answer us honestly do you have ibs or any gut related symptoms honestly do you and if so why not share in with us instead of studying us like we were under some micro machine from outer space? laughter is good for the soul you know!

dfairbee
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Posts: 133
Registered: Jul 98

posted 10-10-1998 09:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dfairbee   Click Here to Email dfairbee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ooooh! look alyson--that 'f' guy has found virgin territory-- here we go AGAIN!!!...norma

alyson
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posted 10-11-1998 12:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for alyson   Click Here to Email alyson     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Really flux?? E.R. is just a t.v. show? I'm shocked and amazed! And I thought George Clooney was really a pediatrician...those liars. I will never believe anything I see or hear on t.v. again. DUH!?!

Analstasia
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Registered: Aug 98

posted 10-11-1998 01:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Analstasia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i laughed so hard reading this! hilarious

...and flux, geez, do you pop the balloons of little children and knock the ice cream off of their cones, too? lighten up, son!

life's too short.
A.

Joyce
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posted 10-11-1998 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Joyce     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
IBS That's really funny!!!!!

ROFLBO

IBSsuffer
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Posts: 32
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posted 10-11-1998 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IBSsuffer   Click Here to Email IBSsuffer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear BB,

Thanks for your thoughtful responses, I thought there might be one out of the bunch who would be negative to it. I suffer IBS-C and I posted it because, having IBS is nothing to laugh about, half the time I spend worried about what my stomach might do and the other half is spent trying to find a solution/remedy to my IBS. I good laugh is always welcomed when it comes my way and sometimes that is not often enough. I hope this isnt a true story as I feel sorry about what happened to the zookeeper, but how many of us have tried or done things like what the zookeeper has done, like standing on our heads, massaging our tummies, getting a colonic done, downing tons of laxatives or Imodium, avoiding certain foods, eatting prunes figs, apples etc., taking herbal remedies, anti-depressants etc.. just to relieve our IBS-C or IBS-D. So in seeing this Darwin Award I can relate to the zookeeper's desire to relieve his suffering elephant, and I appauled him in trying to do so, how wonderful the elephant must have felt to have his/her bowel finally relieved.

Dogwood
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Registered: Jul 98

posted 10-13-1998 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dogwood   Click Here to Email Dogwood     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ah yes, a martyr to the cause of regularity.

Chloe
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Posts: 309
Registered: Aug 98

posted 10-13-1998 04:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chloe   Click Here to Email Chloe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Did you read this on the front page of the National Enquirer next to the article about Bill Clinton being the son of a alien? Or was it in the STAR newspaper next to the article about the l05 yr. old woman who gave birth to twins (and the twins were fathered by Bill Clinton)?? Just wondering . . .

Bronwyn
unregistered
posted 10-13-1998 06:03 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Very amusing...especially flux's comments which remind me SO much of the kinds of things my brother would come up with (he is a total computer geek). He knows a little about a lot, and is quite intelligent about some things, but is totally socially inept, always saying the wrong thing, never knowing when to stop, thinking that his intelligence in one area automatically must translate to other areas (like medicine)- sweet, but a big dork! Thanks, flux, for making me think of my nerdy brother who I miss terribly!!! Keep up the "clueless" commentary and naysaying—each "know-it-all" comment just has me laughing and thinking of my brother! Think I'll give him a call tonight!

Roly
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Posts: 11
Registered: Jan 99

posted 10-14-1998 04:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Roly   Click Here to Email Roly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aha, flux is not really a GI monitor,he's
really a shrink, sponsored by the pharmaceuticals to see if IBS leads to
madness!
What are you doing flux, a post-grad. paper
on Gastro-neurology?
Whatever, thanks for keeping my objectivity level up.

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